The Benefits of Beets

Did you know…?

The beetroot is one of the most impactful root vegetables known to man… and to woman; no chauvinistic behavior over here my friends.

Not only does it make you feel like a badass Dracula every single time you drink it (personally, I pretend to be Tom Cruise in Interview With a Vampire), but it provides you with a myriad of health benefits – like a ridiculous amount!

Let’s take a look at the benefits below:

  1. Beets help lower blood pressure because of their high nitrate levels.  They dilate the blood vessels. I know this for a fact.  And every time my wife calls a family meeting to discuss the annual budget, I chug at least 8 ounces. Real talk.  It works. But why have an annual budget meeting weekly?  Am I missing something?
  2. Beets can reduce high levels of inflammation in the body. This is super helpful because just about every disease today originates from inflammation. But the root of the problem folks is sugar and processed foods. Beets are just a bandaid to the problem. So rip off that damn bandaid by dumping the crap (incredible toilet pun).
  3. Beets may help fight memory loss and improve cognitive function by increasing blood oxygen levels to the brain. Been in a fog lately?  Feeling like a dumbass? Feeling like being a presidential candidate is your only option?  Try beets.
  4. Beets improve digestion. Much like with cognitive function, beets improve blood flow to the gut. So if you can’t poop and are feeling sluggish, chomp down on some beets. They will have you on the pot in no time. Just don’t eat them after leg day.
  5. Finally, beets improve physical performance. Many athletes drink 10-15 ounces of beet juice 2-3 hours prior to competition. The science is there my friends. I like to drink 30-45 ounces 2-3 hours prior to intimacy with my wife. Watch out Canisha!  And watch out bathroom. This can sometimes have adverse effects.

Well there you have it.  Beets for the win!

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